DeStroy, DeVour, DeSantis
You Can’t Spell “Donald Trump” Without “Ron D.”
D.E.I. Should D.I.E.
Trump, Without His Baggage (but with Different, Arguably Worse Baggage)
Big D.
Plenty of People Survived COVID
Nikki Haley Is a Woman
A Younger Trump with Mostly Real Hair
I’m Not Fighting Disney—Disney’s Fighting Me
I’m Too Tall for Their Rides Anyway, So Who Cares?
Women Who Let Their Kids Watch Disney Are Fours
Unlike My Wife, Who Is a Nine
Nine and a Half
Despite What Donald Trump Says About Her
My Wife Is So Hot, in Fact, That I Can’t Possibly Be Involved in a Cold War with Trump
But Don’t You Think It’s Weird That He’s Attacking My Wife?
Now He’s Targeting My Children
I Know He Did It to Everyone Else—I Just Didn’t Think He’d Do It to Me
Why Not? Because We Have Identical Codes of Personal Ethics
I Didn’t Fart on the Debate Stage—He Put a Whoopee Cushion Inside My Podium
O.K., Who Left a Wild Alligator on My Lawn?
You People Begged Me to Run!
The Alligator Has the Words “Small D.” Spray-Painted on It
I Was My Party’s Only Hope, and Now Trump Has Sicced His Alligators on Me
An Appeal to Your Humanity: Elect Me So That I Have Secret Service Protection
This Wasn’t Worth It
I Did This All for You
Fine, I Admit I Actually Loved Space Mountain
Mitt Romney Was Right
You Deserve What You Got, G.O.P. Freaks
Fuck It, I’m Voting for Biden
Just Kidding
But I’m Not Going to Vote
And I’m Cutting the Line for Space Mountain
