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We agree. The researchers themselves cautioned within the study against generalizing their findings. The reality of the anonymous posts on our site, as well as the posts used in the data sets, is that feelings after abortion vary widely. As the study says, many express a combination of “relief vs. regret.” Some do not express regret at all.
Social commentary often insists that people feel one way or another, with no space to feel in the middle. Nuanced responses tend to be ignored. We should all be responsible and respectful of the human feelings involved in this deeply personal and private experience.
We are passionate about protecting this safe space for the people who use our websites. They are looking for a place to be heard, with kindness and without judgment. Some of these stories are distressing — with tales of violence, abuse and pain — and are hard to read. They all deserve protection from being used manipulatively.
It is not our place to tell people how to feel. It is to meet them where they are and let them know that there is a place where they can safely express their feelings and make sure they know that they are not alone.
Michaelene Fredenburg, San Diego
The writer is president and chief executive of the Institute of Reproductive Grief Care.
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