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TALLAHASSEE (The Borowitz Report)—Faced with mounting campaign bills and dwindling donations, Ron DeSantis revealed on Friday that he had been forced to sell his beloved white go-go boots.
The Florida governor appeared anguished by the loss of his go-go boots, which aides disclosed were by far the most cherished footwear he owned.
DeSantis said that he had tried to make cuts elsewhere to preserve his ownership of the boots but that, “in the end, the numbers didn’t add up.”
“In a perfect world, I could run for President and own white go-go boots,” he said. “Sadly, we do not live in that world.”
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