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Your A.I. Companion Will Support You No Matter What

In December of 2021, Jaswant Singh Chail, a nineteen-year-old in the United Kingdom, told a friend, “I believe my purpose is to assassinate...

Nation Terrified That Mike Johnson Is the Adult in the Room

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA (The Borowitz Report)—Millions of Americans are terrified by the dawning realization that Rep. Mike Johnson is the adult in...

Daily Cartoon: Monday, November 13th

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Meet the Devil’s Advocate

My new client was a close friend of the Big Guy’s! And he lived not far from Hell (Florida). So I took him...

The Glorious Comedy of Victor Wembanyama

God Shammgod is a hoops legend from Harlem whose devilish, distinctive crossover move bears his name. (Kobe Bryant’s father famously asked Shammgod to...

Lenny’s Offspring Like the Nose

The three children of Leonard Bernstein uphold their father’s legacy with waggish exuberance. In September, at the Venice première of “Maestro,” a new...

Cartoons from the November 20, 2023, Issue

“Now I’m going to ask for your phone number. You’ll say the first three digits, then I’ll interrupt you as you’re saying the...

Sympathy for the Schoolgirl

When Britney Jean Spears was sixteen years old, she put on a pleated skirt and channelled an archetype: the schoolgirl, underage temptress. It...

Dear Parents

Dear Parents,Welcome to Kinderkids Nursery School! We so loved meeting you all at orientation. Also, we regret to inform you that your children...

Stan Herman, the People’s Designer

With a brisk, hobbling stride, Stan Herman trotted past bird-watchers and leaf-peepers in Central Park the other day. The former longest-serving president of...

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