“A Very Elfish Situationship”
“A Child’s Christmas in a Waymo”
“Dick and Lynne Cheney: The Twentieth Century’s Merriest Love Affair”
“Hot Cocoa and Human Copulation: An A.I.-Generated Holiday Romance”
“ ’Twas the Timothée Chalamet Look-Alike Contest Before Christmas”
“Let It Cuo, Let It Cuo, Let It Cuo: An Andrew Cuomo Carol”
“Two Horndogs Split a Christmas Ham”
“I Banged My Holiday Porch Pirate”
“I’ll Be Blitzed for Christmas”
“Joe Rogan Lectures Santa Claus on the Benefits of Nootropics”
“A Charlie Brown Christmas: Just the Weird Religious Parts”
“The January 6th Choir’s Rockin’ New Year’s Eve”
“An Outback Steakhouse Gift Card for Jesus”
“Chevy Chase and Randy Quaid Reminisce About ‘National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation’ While the Other Cast Members Politely Keep Their Distance”
“The Rockefeller Center February Christmas-Tree-Mulching Ceremony”
“Sabrina Carpenter Sings Hymns in Ways You Didn’t Know Could Be This Horny”
“Digital Chocolate Coins for Hanukkah”
“A Very Idaho Ramadan”
“Moonlight and Cameltoe”
“Steve Guttenberg Plays Something or Other—Even He Doesn’t Know”
“The Story Behind That One Framed Thomas Kinkade Print at the Old People’s Home”
“The Stranger Living Inside Our Walls? He’s Wearing a Santa Suit!”
“A Fireside Toast with Border Czar Tom Homan”
“A Small-Town Multilevel-Marketing Scam”
“Hepatitis All the Way”
“A Very Old-Fashioned Colonoscopy”
“Back-Yard-Manger Chigger Infestation”
“Whatever Happened to That Asshole Who Played Santa at the Sears in Montgomery Mall in the Nineties?”
“New Year’s at the Ol’ Spahn Ranch”
“Call Me Mrs. Indemnification Clause”
“The World War I Christmas Soccer Truce That Devolved Into a Murderous Battle Over a Missed Call”
“Alan Dershowitz Is Coming to Town”
“A Very, Very Undercooked Turkey”
“Dasher’s Probation Officer”
“Another F****** Montana Christmas”
“The Emotional-Support-Elf Chronicles”
“Stephen Miller’s All-Star Comedy Christmas Cavalcade”
“My Secret Chimney Lover”
“I Used to Be a Saint, But Now They Just Call Me Nick”
“Not Your Father’s Dreidel”
“Mrs. Claus Is on the Apps”
“A Prettier Mom for Christmas”
“The Angel That Just Watches People Have Sex”
“Santa Explains the Features of His New Fitness Wearable”
“A Christmas Autopsy”
“Tyler Gets the Wrong Game Console and Just Loses It”
“ ’Tis the Season for Elective Surgery”
“A Few Black People Are Permitted to Appear as Neighbors”
“Forgotten-Mill-Town Christmas”
“A Man Wearing a Reindeer Sweater Digs Grave After Grave for Ninety Minutes”
“All I Want for Christmas Is Malaria Netting”
“Mistletoe Is Poisonous to Dogs” ♦
.jpg "Sarah Sherman Enters the Cartoon Caption Contest")
