A spider will descend from the ceiling on a single thread. His eyes are red, but they are kind. Could he be your friend? (The answer is yes! During spooky season, spiders will be excited to make plans.)
You’ll see werewolves in cozy, cable-knit sweaters huddling around a campfire, laughing. When one werewolf closes his eyes and starts singing “Thriller,” others join him, and soon each and every werewolf’s voice is united in song.
A black cat will sit on a stoop in a newsboy cap, stirring pumpkin soup in a cauldron. It’s an old cat-family recipe, and he’s making enough for the whole neighborhood.
Under the light of a full moon, crows will hide behind sidewalk garbage. They’re waiting to pop out and give you a free box of Raisinets. Even if you don’t like Raisinets, in the spirit of the season, accept the crows’ offer of Raisinets and say, “Good dandy candy tidings to you and yours.” (That is a traditional spooky-season greeting).
The spooky-season warbler will emerge. This bird is known for its orange, brown, and yellow coloring and its distinct call, which typically sounds like bones clattering around, in a fun way.
You’ll smell burning leaves, hot apple cider, and that pumpkin soup the black cat in your neighborhood is cooking. He makes it every Saturday around this time of year and starts serving it in bread bowls at 11:30 A.M. Get there early because there’s usually a line.
Nothing says spooky season quite like a scarecrow holding an origami snake that it made all by itself.
At dusk, you’ll see vampires spinning, spinning, spinning toward the heavens, like ice dancers. When they’re done spinning, they’ll shape-shift into mist, and then become buckets of kettle corn.
In spooky season, ghosts actually stop saying, “Boo!” Instead, if you listen closely, you’ll hear them saying, “Boop.”
As you wait in line for the neighborhood cat’s pumpkin soup, a bat, holding a wooden spoon and a cloth napkin he brought from home, will land on your shoulder. “Soup is on!” he’ll say, getting comfortable. “Can’t wait to try this stew! Yum!” At first, you might want to be, like, “Actually, I think the line ends back there,” but instead you’ll allow the bat to stay. That is the spooky-season way.
Oak trees will cast long, wiggly shadows because they’re doing a shoulder shimmy.
You’ll meet a band of witches in a cemetery who are playing with bunnies. As you approach, they’ll hand you a sheet of parchment with the news that Wayfair is having a thirty-per-cent-off sale—this spooky season only!
The wait for the cat’s pumpkin soup will be a while. To pass the time, the bat might put his napkin on the sidewalk like a beach towel and lie down. He’ll look so peaceful that you’ll think, Maybe I should look into bat adoption?
Skeletons will join hands for circle dances. Sometimes their palms will become a bit damp as they hold hands, but you know what? It’s spooky season, and it’s O.K.
Finally, you’ll get a cup of delicious soup. So will the bat. Then the werewolves, the witches, the spider, and the vampires will arrive for soup, too. The vampires will say, “We’d like some sooOOooOOooup, please.” Because they said “sooOOooOOooup,” they’ll get free refills of this nutty, slightly sweet concoction. In a spooky season twist—the soup is also a little spicy!
During spooky season, someone in your building will decorate his front door with bloody steak knives, slashed Teddy bears, and clowns with advanced gingivitis. His neighbor will knock on his door and say, “Excuse me, but I think you misunderstood—these items are scary. It’s spooky season.” The man will say, “Oh, my God, what was I thinking?” and take all that stuff down. ♦
