Things That Would Be More Effective Than N.Y.C. Street-Sweeper Trucks

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Twice a week, every week, four hundred and thirty street-sweeper trucks descend upon the streets of New York. But they don’t seem to clean. Instead, they kick up a toxic dirt cloud that engulfs the city and chokes its citizens. In an attempt to create cleaner streets, here are some things that would be much more effective at getting trash off the roads than the N.Y.C. street-sweeping trucks:

Rockette Understudies:


Pub-Crawl Broom Bikes:


Hundreds of Passionate Trash-Picking Clones of David Sedaris:


N.Y.U. Establishing the Grouch School of Rubbish:


A Year-Round Macy’s Day Parade Fireplace Bellows:


The Biggest Goat Science Can Make:


Sentient Trash Bags That Walk to Staten Island once They’re Full:

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