WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “scandal bigger than Watergate,” the Fox News host Tucker Carlson accused President Biden of “thoroughly faking mental sharpness” for greater than an hour throughout his press convention on Thursday.
“Doing everything he could to give the appearance of mental acuity, he answered questions in detail, stayed on point, and uttered suspiciously complete sentences,” Carlson alleged. “I’ve seen some shameless stunts in my time, but this one takes the cake.”
Carlson mentioned that Biden’s “desperate charade” prolonged to “accomplishing concrete things to make himself seem competent.”
“When he said that he would double the number of vaccinations in his first hundred days, my jaw dropped,” he mentioned. “President Trump would never have tried to pull something like that.”
