Messieurs and mesdemoiselles, bonsoir! It is nice to see so many engaging journalists right here immediately. I want to make like to every certainly one of you! Ha ha! Oui, oui—my representatives are telling me to not get distracted. Is good recommendation, non? This is my downside! I’ve an excessive amount of amour, non? Anyway, I’ve come earlier than you immediately to express regret.
Questions have been raised about a few of my previous interactions with cats and canine whom I perceived to be extremely engaging woman skunks. I by no means supposed to offend anybody or trigger any hurt. It was all concerning the amour, non? But, nonetheless, my actions aren’t—how do you say—applicable. Pepé is très sorry.
It can be simple responsible my habits on having been insulated by privilege—the privilege of being a well known superstar skunk. But I cannot do that. It would even be really easy to make some excuse. Like, different skunks have engaged in disreputable habits for many years with out getting caught. Or, just a few unreliable cats and canine have complained, they usually can’t even speak. And, sure, it might be très facile to forged the blame on others, just like the painters who’re at all times so sloppy with their portray, resulting in white stripes down the backs of black cats and far, a lot confusion. Mon Dieu, why is it at all times white paint?
But Pepé is aware of that the time for excuses has handed.
I’m sorry for letting everybody down—my household, my mates, my enterprise associates, different skunks, different French animals, and, in fact, the cats and canine whom I confused with extremely engaging woman skunks and relentlessly pursued via cities, forests, the Swiss Alps, and ocean liners. Je suis désolé.
I’d additionally wish to apologize to my “Looney Tunes” co-stars. Though I ought to say that I don’t see Mr. Elmer Fudd or Mr. Yosemite Sam out right here apologizing for glamorizing gun violence. Or Mr. Bugs Bunny apologizing for his propagation of racist stereotypes. Or Mr. Speedy Gonzales for . . . all the pieces. But that’s the method of the world, non? Tolerance for violence and racism in America is at all times larger than tolerance for amour. D’accord—as soon as extra, my representatives are reminding me to not get distracted. And that aggression and undesirable advances are to not be confused with love. C’est la vie.
You have to recollect, I got here of age in an period when a French animal who didn’t reply to apparent social cues was thought-about hilarious. But no extra! At one time, there might have been a spot for a speaking skunk who walked on his hind legs and pursued the love of cats and canine whom he misidentified as feminine skunks. But that point isn’t now.
I’ll simply say that, in making “Looney Tunes,” I really feel I’m being playful and saying jokes that I believe are humorous. Like, “You will never get away from me, ma chérie! ” And, “I will never release you until you make sweet love to me!” I’ve meant no offense, and solely try so as to add some enjoyable to what may in any other case be an extended ocean voyage or a boring hike via the Swiss Alps.
I now perceive that my interactions might have been insensitive and too private, and that a few of my feedback, given my place as a strong, public skunk, made others really feel in ways in which I by no means supposed. What I took to be an harmless recreation of “lover’s chase” was to them predation by an aggressive animal. What I learn as the traditional bulging eyes and terrified grimace of flirtation was as a substitute a concerted effort to flee me. Rather than feeling the excitation of a primary date, they felt as if I used to be holding them hostage inside a hole tree. To the extent that any cat or canine felt that method, I’m really sorry.
And I would like you all to know that I get assist. I’ve employed many, many legal professionals to assist me via this troublesome time.
To present you ways a lot I’ve modified, these legal professionals have inspired me to do some optimistic issues which are just about the other of the unhealthy issues I’ve already achieved. I’ll give a lot cash to animal-rescue facilities, to assist the traumatized canine and cats, and can present the most recent eco-friendly revitalizing shampoos to take away the white stripes from their backs. But that’s only the start! I now pledge to work with lawmakers all through America and use my affect to improve our security requirements for painters. The white paint should cease spilling from high-up locations proper now!
But that I ought to resign my function in “Looney Tunes”? Pas vrai! Surely this may ship a nasty message to the followers who love Pepé. Instead, I’m beginning a brand new chapter of my profession, which I’m excited to inform you about. No longer will I rely upon the confused, hyperaggressive pursuit of the other intercourse for comedy. I’m as a substitute having my white stripe dyed black—a switcheroo, n’est pas?—and can audition for the function of Sylvester for French-speaking audiences. Non, ma chérie, it isn’t ultimate. But, because the exploited, underpaid employee chook in “The Flintstones” says, “It’s a living.”
