Kari Lake Furious That No One Has Searched Her Home for Stolen Documents

PHOENIX (The Borowitz Report)—Kari Lake said that she is “absolutely furious and outraged” that no one has performed a search of her home for stolen documents.

“The F.B.I. has been raiding the house of every Tom, Dick, and Harry, but somehow doesn’t think mine is worthy of their attention,” she said. “This doesn’t pass the smell test.”

The former anchorwoman claimed that she has been calling for the F.B.I. to raid her home for weeks, but to no avail.

“Clearly, the whole process of who gets raided and who doesn’t is rigged,” she alleged. “This is America? Wake up, people.”

In an apparent threat, Lake hinted that she may take legal action to force the F.B.I. to raid her home.

“The F.B.I. can make this whole thing go away simply by showing up at my house and rifling through my possessions,” she said. “But, if they refuse to do that, I’m warning them: I will be their worst nightmare.”

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