Parents in a Chain

MURIEL: Thanks to all parents who participated in this year’s Books Not Phones bake sale. We reached our goal and had great fuck.

MURIEL: *Fun* *great fun* Grrr autocorrect.😾

DIANE: Thank you for organizing, Mur! Library will get much needed $.

CONNOR: Chicken zit winterscroll?


CONNOR: Sari. *Isn’t it wonderful?*

DIANE: Are you driving, Con? Asked you not to text and drive.

CONNOR: Gnat droving, runting 2 meetgang.

WINONA: Wanted to apologize for zucchini date bread fiasco. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Was so popular last year. Not sure what happened.

HANNAH: Zucchini date bread was my favorite! No apology necessary!

WINONA: Took home almost all loaves. Even sample plate was full. 😔

MEREDITH: Was worried that I priced my fudge too high but worked out fine.

HANNAH: Fudge was a best-seller! [Tina Turner “Simply the Best” GIF.]



CONNOR: Fuddle was sew grate! Eye 8 weigh 2 mini!

MEREDITH: Sold out by noon.

WINONA: Fudge always sells, right? Basically candy.


WINONA: Point of zucchini date bread is to have some kind of nutrition w/sweet. [Link to Times article on childhood obesity.] Not for this crowd tho!

MURIEL: In any case, the library stuffed is v. tankful. *staff* *thankful*

WINONA: Wanted bread to sell well for library but also for Ava. She helped me make it this year.

HANNAH: Was so great to see Ava there! Such a sweetie!

WINONA: Wish she hadn’t come. Then I could’ve lied and said it was popular ha ha. 🤥

MURIEL: Because we made our goal, library can use bookmobile to reach kids who might not otherwise have access to boobs. *books*

HANNAH: Such a great cause! Kids SO distracted by phones these days!

MURIEL: . . .

MURIEL: . . .

MURIEL: . . .

MURIEL: Sorry, just on phone with Dan. He wanted to congratulate all but is going into surgery.

MEREDITH: Thanks, Dan!

HANNAH: Dan’s great!

MURIEL: I’m a lucky girl. 😊

WINONA: I saw Dan spit out sample.


WINONA: Went behind your booth and spat out my zucchini bread sample.

MURIEL: . . .

MURIEL: Don’t think he realized what it had in it. He has allergies to squish. *squash*

WINONA: Knew there had to be a reason. 🤔

DIANE: Skylar told me that zucchini date bread was her favorite.

WINONA: Interesting because I don’t remember Skylar coming to booth at all. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Ava said they had some sort of falling out. Been happening a lot since divorce.

cONNOR: Kin eye bi sum moor fuddle brainies?

mEREDITH: Sold out, Connor!

DIANE: Read up the chain, Con.

MURIEL: And please consider not using voice to text.

WINONA: Everyone loves fudge, right? Sugar and chocolate basically. Just like who doesn’t love new romance? Sweet and fun but big crash after rush. Empty calories.


WINONA: Not yours Meredith of course. I loved yours! Afraid I made big pig of myself! 🐷 🐷 🐷

MURIEL: Hope everyone is on board for next year’s fake sale. *bake* sale

WINONA: Not sure given current custody arrangements and coordinating with Ava’s new tutors and therapists. 😬 Might need some new recipes ha ha.

HANNAH: We’re all here for you, Winona!

WINONA: TY. Know I can count on all of you. 🙏

DAN: Don’t have any of these numbers in my contacts. What’s this about?

MURIEL: Dan, it’s me. Us. Bake sale chat?

DAN: See now. [Hide alerts for this chat.]

CONNOR: Sari, meetgang starching. 3 fuddle brainies 4 me. TTYL! ♦

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