PALM BEACH (The Borowitz Report)—A defiant Donald J. Trump is urging his supporters to comply with him on Facebook Total Landscaping, a brand new social community he has created.
“Facebook Total Landscaping will be the biggest social network in the world, way bigger than what that loser Zuckerberg came up with,” he mentioned. “No one’s on Facebook.”
Trump mentioned that his new social-media platform, which is able to function out of a parking zone exterior Philadelphia, can be run by his former legal professional Rudolph Giuliani, “so you know it’s going to be terrific.”
“Rudy’s out buying a computer right now,” he mentioned. “He had to replace the one that the F.B.I. took last week.”
Boasting about his social community’s explosive progress, Trump mentioned that he had already friended Donald Trump, Jr., Eric Trump, Ivanka Trump, and Jared Kushner, and was ready to hear again on a buddy request to Melania Trump.
