Tucker Carlson and Kari Lake Announce Plans for Alternate Universe

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a decision that sent shock waves through conservative circles, Tucker Carlson and Kari Lake announced that they are joining forces to create an alternate universe.

Although plans for their universe are in the primordial stage, the two right-wing icons said that it would exist outside the normal bounds of time and space.

They also indicated that, in addition to flouting established laws of physics, their universe would have its own periodic table of elements, with atomic weights “T.B.D.”

Carlson said that he expects to broadcast a nightly show in his new universe, but cautioned that he and Lake “haven’t decided whether this new realm will have ‘days’ and ‘nights’ as we currently understand them.”

For her part, Lake said that she will be able to juggle her duties as Queen of the Universe and Governor of Arizona, which she expects to be named “any day now.”

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